Yes I was bitten by that zombie, but honestly you shouldn’t worry about it
Look I can understand your concern, zombie attacks are scary! Nobody was more upset than I when one of those undead monsters lurched out of the shadows and bit down on my shoulder. I appreciate you stepping in to pull it off me, but you’re making a much bigger fuss out of me being bitten than you have any right to. Have other people turned into zombies after being bitten? I’m sure its happened, but the odds are overwhelming that I’ll just be fine.
You’re really making a big deal out of this and people are starting to get upset. They’re starting to worry that you’re going to blow things out of proportion when they get bitten by one of the ravenous hordes of undead that have forced us into hiding. You’re going to start a panic, and whose fault will that be? Yours! You’re making a lot of unsubstantiated claims, wild claims that you are not qualified to make. You’re acting like getting bitten by the reanimated corpse of someone long dead for other reasons is always going to be fatal, and you sound hysterical.
Even if I were to entertain the outrageous claims you’re making, so what? One more zombie isn’t going to make a difference, there are already millions of them out there. You really think my decisions are going to make a difference? You just aren’t making any sense. Sure, I won’t deny I was bitten, but I can guarantee you that I am totally fine. Maybe you might have a reason to be concerned if I had other health issues, sure, but a single bite from a single zombie? You’re really reaching here, and I’m starting to think you have some kind of agenda behind making these claims.
You’re getting upset with me? A perfectly healthy adult? What? Coughing? Of course I’m coughing its allergy season. Are you really going to sit there and tell a man that's been bit by a zombie its illegal to have allergies? This is why I didn’t even want to tell you I got bit in the first place. You have some real issues you gotta work through on your own, projecting your fear of turning into a zombie onto someone else. I’m going to head back to camp and have a quick nap and a bite to eat. What do you mean that's inappropriate? Now you’re not only a doctor but you’re the word police? You really need help.
